Now, when I look back into my childhood, I see a great meaning in all the hardships I
experienced. I always though, that I grew up unsupported, with no love, misunderstood, and
with low self-esteem.
Now, when I’m 45, I see that I was so wrong.
It was a great plan which led me to the place I was meant to be.
Everything in my childhood lead me from outside world into my inner world. I was thought to
look for answers inside, rather than outside.
Every time I was betrayed, pushed away, not accepted, misunderstood, … I truly was lead to
return to myself.
Sounds totally unbelievable, but I was at all times surrounded by people, who loved me immensely. Every time they pushed me away, they actually told me, to go and find my own strength. They proved to me, that if they were nice to me, they would of further me from my goal. The greatest goal, to get to know my true origins and true purpose of living.
My tool in school was reading. I escaped from this reality into reality of book characters. The world opened up to me, even if I lived in a little town. I travelled the world and lives, adventures and time, fates of people. I lived their feelings, experienced their pain and joy.
Books were the doors to the wideness of the unknown. They thought me to find my own NARNIA. Book shelve were the door to my own world.
My second tool became photo camera. Photography taught me to see. Really see beyond outside and see into inside. When I photograph I see, people’s souls. It took me 20 years, but it really healed me. Photography taught me to see through. To see the essence of the moment, and the ones creating it. In other people I started seeing myself and through them getting to know myself. I learned to love. Camera is my third eye, says the ones who know me a bit. If I haven’t photographed you, I don’t know you. Maybe it’s a time to get acquainted?
My third tool. No, can’t call it tool. My third significant other is tree. Actually not one tree, trees in general. They are my source of knowledge, spiritual guru, teacher, spiritual path, my everything. Trees are my DaBa (which means my culture).
Tree of life, Family tree, Tree of world creation are few of the common uses for the trees.
During the lock down, I started photographing tree trunks from close up and was amazed by the patterns, colors and natural beauty.
Do you know, that all changes when we start seeing beauty around us. Like seeing the beauty which is encoded into the seed, everywhere. Starting seeing true nature of things.
So I’m threesome of: books, photographs and trees.
My name means destiny. My life is about being happy. My longing is to go home.
And I say: your destiny is happiness.